A woman speaks to a tree in place of her son./And olives come. *

The twenty-fourth of December is a weird day now. Thirty-six years ago, it was a wonder. But now it’s just a day to be marked; gotten through. The boy’s birthday. Nothing new for the world. Loss is in our lives in many ways. Sometimes the loss happens before the loss or is piled onto the loss. Such complication.

I was reading an article in the New York Times about grief; part of it resonated. How a song can push you into grief. There is a specific song I can no longer listen to. I’m fortunate that I don’t hear it often, but it lays me low if it pops up. When Issac was eighteen months, he learned to come in on the chorus of Duke of Earl – Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl – he sang the Earl part. There is nothing better than a wee one waiting for pancakes and singing with you.

And here are some random photos of what is around in our house at this time of year.

Be safe, be kind.

* from Jerusalem by Naomi Shahib Nye

Here and there

    Early this morning, in a dream, I was walking beside a fence line, and I could see something coming toward me. At first, I thought bear. And then a chimpanzee. But as it moved closer, I could see it was a huge alligator carrying bushes and grass upon its back. It proceeded to come toward me, and then I put my hand on its giant head, and I walked past. It was one of those dreams where I had no ability to run. I was trying so hard. I was sure the beast wasn’t after me, but then I felt something press against my back. It’s tired too, I reasoned as I lay down. The dream ended. I woke in the dark, Jerry pressing his shoulder against me.

When I told Jerry about the dream, he said, “So you were in the water?” No, I was on land. “So, you could run?” No, I couldn’t. “Why?” It was a dream. “How could it be mistaken for a bear or a chimp?” I don’t know -- the distance, the stuff it had on its back -- it was a dream.

We’ve been deconstructing our trip. The after report, as we call it. What worked, what didn’t what needs to be rethought. We left on October 7th and returned on November 19th. The itinerary was too busy. We did planes, trains, automobiles, and ferries. Of course, trams and buses and so much walking. But moving about so often, though not hard, was just too much.

Where did we go? Dublin and then to Cork by train; Gdansk; Oslo; Stockholm, and then overnight train to Luleå, Sweden. Rovaniemi (Finland), driving and then drove back to Lulea and onto Stockholm on another overnight train; Helsinki by overnight ferry; Berlin and very briefly a day and a half in Frankfurt, this is where we caught our flight back to Saint Louis.

Favorite thing? Lulea, Sweden, is a little gem of a place. I could see being there for a month or three, writing. So beautiful. It was lovely to see Dublin again. I took Jerry to a couple of places he missed the first time. Berlin needs a summer to experience. Oslo was just fun. Helsinki, we need to return to, as that’s where I got a cold that stayed with me until we got home (sad face).

We met a couple from Australia, Edgar and Vera, while we were doing laundry in Stockholm (dropping off laundry because, as the woman, Vicky, who ran the place, explained, “I’m the washing machine!” Ha!), and then we saw them again near Luleå, Sweden, at a bus stop at Gammelstad Church Town. Good to meet another couple that don’t care for tour groups and just find their way around.

Another dream: I was trying to figure out how a road could be cleared with the snow piled up eighty feet on both sides. Who would ever use a road like that? So much snow and I was standing on a glacier looking down, the glacier was melting – calving – and I was concerned about the road where I was standing was shifting. My feet were cold, so very cold: some alligator had taken the covers.

Here are some pictures from the trip, starting with a random street sign in Dublin:

Dublin Photo exhibit of Irish Writers this is poet Paula Meehan

                                                        Gdansk 

Gdansk

 Stockholm 

                                                                            Stockholm view from our hotel

Oslo Central Library 

Panda Berlin Zoo